12 Types of People You Always See in the Lakes!
We hate to stereotype, really we do, but some of these are just too funny not to share! How many did you spot on your latest Lakeland jaunt?
1. The Everest Base Camp Expedition Team
Usually flashing the latest edition £600 jacket from Arc'teryx, a swish Garmin watch designed to withstand -40℃ temperatures, carbon fibre hiking poles, and Everest ready boots with their £300 label still poking out… the team are all set for a wander around Ambleside town centre.
2. The Muddy Mountain Bikers
Usually covered in mud, bruises, scars, and beaming from ear to ear, the Lake District is a mountain biker’s paradise. This certain type of fearless human can be found hovering around the fire at the Eagle and Child in Staveley, attempting to dry off their smelly, sodden socks in the most socially-acceptable way possible. (Note… it’s not possible.)
3. The Get-A-Room Honeymooners
With a glowing halo of new love and promise, this duo just can’t get enough of each other… how sweet. Unfortunately for you, they are sitting just a few feet away… rather distracting when you’re tucking into some nice pub grub and a well-earned pint of Loweswater Gold!
4. The Wordsworth-Wainwright Worshippers
Clutching their limited-edition, neatly-bookmarked copies of all seven volumes of the Pictorial Guide to the Lakeland Fells, while reciting whichever relevant piece of Wordsworth seems most fitting to accompany the rather expensive slice of tea-bread and coffee at their favourite Grasmere cafe, these Lakeland literature purists are the beacons of local culture we all need!
5. The Trackies & Trainers Trekkers
Maybe they didn’t hear the first few passers-by tut in dismay, or perhaps they did, and thought it was some kind of local greeting… but rest assured the tracksuit and trainers gang will be getting quite the scolding when their day out on Helvellyn ends with a call to the Mountain Rescue when Kieran gets lost, Craig contracts hypothermia, and Theo’s ‘wild swim’ in Red Tarn ends in a rather embarrassing need for new undies. Remember - be prepared!
6. The Old Boys
Easily identified by their indecipherable chatter, stylish taste in flat caps, and sense of utter horror at the thought of anyone ordering anything at the bar but the local bitter, these old boys are like time capsules of Lakeland life with their hundreds of anecdotes and tales. You might be lucky enough to get an insight into their curious lives if you catch a twinkle in the eye of a cheery, red-nosed farmer whose wife has just called the pub for the third time this week, demanding he come home for his tea.
7. The Teenagers in Tractors
“Surely he’s not old enough to be driving that blummin’ great thing along these narrow lanes!?” The young driver, drawing questionable looks from every side, navigates the winding old roads with precision and confidence, guiding sheep here, carrying bales there, and proving that there’s already years of experience behind that baby-faced grin!
8. The Jam-Packed People Carrier Tribe
Charging up the M6 on a Friday evening with a car full of kids, dogs, bikes, spare clothes, boots, BBQs, waterproofs, kayaks, games, spare parts, patched-up tents, and at least six bottles of wine to help mum get through it all - family camping holidays in the lakes are the first experience of this beautiful place for many of us, and that sense of freedom is one we cherish forever!
9. The Pub Crawl Posse
If there’s one thing the Lakes is not short on, its pubs, and pretty marvellous ones at that! Because of this enviable reputation, people flock to the Langdales, to Kirkby Lonsdale, to Keswick, Bowness, and Eskdale in their thousands every year to take part in that very British tradition; the Pub Crawl. These fuddled folk certainly know how to put them away, with Lakeland pubs catering for over 50 million visitors a year - that’s a lot of fuzzy heads!
10. The Half Cut Hen Do Brigade
Having just successfully finished off seven bottles of fizz, sung their hearts out in the karaoke booth at BAHA, and demolished a greasy kebab from the takeaway, these fine young women now stagger down through Bowness in their pink sashes and tiaras to the Lake District’s premier nightclub - The Wheelhouse (or ‘wheelie’ as it is more fondly known by local youngsters) for a night of dancing-like-its-1973. Bride to be, Becky, had always loved the lakes and had been excited at the prospect of a weekend of long walks and cosy fires with the girls… but it would seem her bridesmaids had a slightly different idea!
11. The Story-topping Show Off
No matter how outrageously adventurous and heroic your tales of adventure are, Billy-Brag-a-Lot on the table next to you will always have something better. You could have tightrope walked naked across red tarn between Striding and Swirral Edge, and he will always have something more extreme, more daring, and more suspiciously unbelievable to regale to the entire pub at maximum volume! The trick is to feed his fables with fabrications of your own until he gets bored and announces he needs an early night in preparation for his blindfolded swim of all sixteen lakes in the morning...
12. The Cantankerous Barman
It wouldn’t be a complete list without mentioning the stalwart bartenders who endure all of our repetitive tales, strange requests, peculiar questions, and drunken dad jokes, day in, day out, all year round. These grizzly faced barmen and women keep us all in line and have seen it all before. Give them a smile, be patient, leave them a tip, buy them a pint, and be kind, because gaining a friend at your favourite lakeland pub is an investment that will repay you a thousand times over.